If an Ad Agency Were a Tin of Quality Street Chocolates

There are certain rituals that unite the British workplace. The awkward kettle hierarchy. The meeting that could’ve been an email. And, at Christmas, the ceremonial opening of a tin of Quality Street.

It starts politely. It never ends that way.

Spend enough time in an agency and you’ll notice something else: the chocolates don’t just disappear at random. They follow a hierarchy. A pattern. Almost… an org chart.

So, in the spirit of festive procrastination and self-aware faffery, we asked a ‘very serious’  question that absolutely did not need asking:

If agency roles were Quality Street chocolates, who would be who?

The answers were amusingly accurate.

1. Creative Director – The Purple One

Iconic, instantly recognisable, and expects to be taken seriously. Often reaches in first, believes they set the tone for the whole tin. Rich, a bit indulgent, sometimes intimidating, but when it’s right, it’s really right.

2. Account Director – Toffee Penny

Indestructible, mildly exhausting, and somehow always still there at the end. Nobody ever chooses it first, yet it carries the entire tin on its back. Feels underappreciated and is not wrong.

3. Account Manager – Caramel Swirl

Sweet, enthusiastic, and constantly in motion. Leaves a trail everywhere they go and is somehow involved in every conversation, even the ones they were not invited to.

4. Strategist / Planner – Orange Chocolate Crunch

Bright, sharp, occasionally polarising. Some people love them. Some people absolutely do not. Both are correct.

5. Copywriter – Green Triangle

Sharp, layered, and deceptively complex. Not always everyone’s first pick, but those who know, know. Brings depth rather than sugar, and quietly judges the rest of the tin.

6. Art Director – Toffee Finger

Hard work, long-lasting, and oddly satisfying if you commit. Not for the faint-hearted. The One Who’s Been There Forever. Carries institutional memory and mild cynicism in equal measure.

7. Designer – Milk Choc Block

Structured, considered, and quietly exacting. Looks simple at first glance, but every square is deliberate. Everyone thinks they can improve it, until they try.

8. Content Creator – Strawberry Delight

Brings energy, colour, and a steady stream of ideas. Occasionally a bit messy around the edges, but that’s part of the charm. Sweet and best not underestimated.

9. Project Manager – Fudge

Reliable, calming, and quietly crucial. Keeps things smooth, fills the gaps, and makes sure nothing collapses under pressure. Rarely thanked enough.

10. Developer – Coconut Eclair

Not here for the jokes. Needs space, clarity, and respect. If mishandled, everything collapses.