How to Waste Your Holiday

“Don’t stay in bed… you’ll waste your holiday.”

“Don’t just lie on the beach… you’ll waste your holiday.”

“Get up early or… you’ll waste your holiday.”

“If you just stay by the pool… you’ll waste your holiday.”

Now, I love my parents dearly. To be fair, if it weren’t for their guidance and wisdom, I’d probably be doing bird, dead, or both by now. However, in this instance, I’m going to challenge that pearl of wisdom and go so far as to say: “Abso-fucking-lutely waste your holiday.” In fact: “Waste the fucking shit out of it – every last hour, minute, and second – until it’s totally and utterly wasted" (in all senses of the word - another thing I was cautioned against doing on holiday... but that’s the subject of another blog.)

But why? Why, when you’ve ponied up all that hard-earned cash for two weeks of new experiences and relaxation, would you want to “waste it”?

Simple. Because enjoying your holiday is way more important than “experiencing” it.

How many times have you heard: “We had a lovely holiday. We did so much we could just do with another holiday to recover from it”?

What – so you can cram even more into the next one and come back even more knackered?!

I’m not a lazy holidaymaker. I snowboard. I’ve got a PADI Open Water diving licence. I’ve done bush safaris in Lilongwe and trekked the Himalayas. If that’s your jam, go for it (I did and loved it). But make sure you take time to stop and relax – whether that’s two weeks in Khao Lak or a week in your garden. Take the time to just be.

The Western world is facing a mental health crisis. Anxiety and depression are on the rise. Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK. Not cancer, not heart disease, not drink-driving – but simply deciding that your life isn’t worth living. That’s royally fucked up.

We live in an amazing world, but we rarely take the time to appreciate it – too busy beating ourselves up over what we don’t have or haven’t achieved. It’s worth noting that this mindset is the polar opposite of one of the core principles of Buddhism. Props to Buddha, who figured this shit out around the 5th century BC.

I’ve been diagnosed with something called GAD – Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

(Yep, props to me – after 25 years in Adland and 50 years on the planet, I have a disorder. #LifeGoals)

I’m joking about it, but for anyone who’s experienced it, it’s a royal fucker. I’m open about my condition because staying quiet is what causes a lot of the problems. Remember that suicide stat?* There’s a reason it’s mostly men – because we’re shit at talking about it.

We’re taught to keep quiet. It’s not manly to be scared or sad, and for fuck’s sake don’t cry – if you do that, your testicles will immediately be confiscated and you’ll have to be a eunuch forever.

In the UK, you are 3–4 times more likely to call it quits on life if you’re a man than if you’re a woman. That’s not because our lives are harder – we’re just royally shit at accepting we need help and asking for it.

Anxiety (like it's equally attractive twin, Depression) is like alcoholism – you never get rid of it. You just learn to manage it. Funnily enough, it’s contagious. It’s not spread by kissing or hugging or sneezing, but by teaching.

Anxiety, in many ways, is about bad habits. Habits we’re taught through life:

We don’t do enough.

We haven’t achieved enough.

And my personal favourite: “What if?”

“So what the fuck has this got to do with what I do on holiday?”

You may ask.

Stop and think about that question for a second. Then think about that old caution: “…you’ll waste your holiday.”

Firstly, it’s telling you you’re not doing enough.

Secondly, it’s stopping you from doing the very things your brain might be begging you to do – to protect itself from mental illness.

As part of my ongoing treatment for my highly prestigious “disorder”, I was taught a technique called Centring.

The process involves first identifying when you’re becoming anxious – harder than you might think – and then switching your focus to your toes. Think about how they feel, what they’re doing… then your feet… your legs… back… and so on, all the way through your body.

What this does is refocus your mind on the present – and, by default, stops you worrying about the future and what may happen.